is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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