It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize