I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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