Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
