I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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