He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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