What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
