You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
