Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
