No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize