I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
