Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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