Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
