I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
