I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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