At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
