I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
