If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
