hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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