i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
