i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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