we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
