I feel like I'm in dance class right now
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize