I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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