I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
