Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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