member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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