no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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