Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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