Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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