The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
