You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When did angry sex become our thing?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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