I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
