wanna go halves on a baby?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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