He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
