i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
