please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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