what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize