so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize