Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
