I will die if light touches me.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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