I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
