is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
