Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
