oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
