Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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