Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish i was in the wii world.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Still dying that you shit outside
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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