I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
