Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize