New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
