"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
