I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the condom got lost in my hair
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
