I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
