You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm sobbing to NWA
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
