If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
