I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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