i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize