i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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