You smell like stripper and shame
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
