I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
