You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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