dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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