One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
