Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
