I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
