I accidentally had phone sex last night
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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