Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
